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“You're obsessed with this breathing thing.” It was 6:00 AM, and I was training my client Jesse over Zoom. We were right in the middle of a side neck stretch. He stopped, looked right at the camera, and dropped that line on me. At first, I was completely taken aback. The room was dead quiet, and all I could hear was the humming of my computer fan. I felt that realization hit my whole body like a physical shock. But then I smiled. I realized what he was saying was completely true. I'm obsessed with it because it is my North Star. It's the missing piece to true behavior change. Once I started adapting the breath and changing mechanics, everything shifted. I learned about the diaphragm, the lymphatic system, and the autonomic nervous system. I started going a lot deeper into the science of oxygen and carbon dioxide. And the deeper I went, the more I recognized something crucial. I finally understood why changing your breathing mechanics is so incredibly hard. Out of all the thousands of people I've trained in my life, only one stands out. I have just one client who's close to making functional breathing their default… Just one. The odds are heavily stacked against us. Let's look at why. First, your breath is ingrained in you for survival. Three minutes without oxygen, and you die. Your body will always find a way to breathe because the alternative is death. It doesn't care if you use your upper chest, your traps, your neck, or your throat. The body is just trying to get oxygen into the system. When your diaphragm isn't used, that body throttle in the center of your core experiences muscle atrophy. Think of a broken arm inside a cast. For a lot of us, our diaphragm has atrophied. Second, you need a neuromuscular connection. You must have a mind-muscle connection to activate that specific muscle. Think about flexing your calf or pulling with your back.
Motor mechanics are a huge part of activating the diaphragm. The third barrier is synergistic dominance. Overactive muscles take over the movement to compensate for the lazy diaphragm. Your body is conditioned to breathe with your upper chest and neck. So, the diaphragm doesn't feel like it needs to do its job. The reason I'm sharing this with you is because changing this pattern requires extreme intention. We have to be purposeful in our conviction to use that diaphragm. We have to keep our mouths closed and pin the tongue to the roof of the mouth. We have to make these habitual changes to improve the physical function of our breathing. Those old neural nets are deeply ingrained in your autonomic nervous system. To change them, you're going to have to be aware and present. It's going to be uncomfortable… Your brain and body will want to default back to chest breathing because it feels familiar and comfortable. Nobody wants to think about their breath all day long. But pushing through this discomfort is how you master your Neuro-breath. It's how you take control of your stress and your health. This is exactly how you stop the exhausting cycle of a high-performer and upgrade your Internal Operating System. Rats, I know building this habit feels tough. But once you recognize, or know what I know. You'll see that everything is at stake. Everything.
PS: I have a Functional Breathing Checklist that I use with all my clients. I'll share that with you next week. PPS: By the way, Jesse has officially lost over 30 pounds with less time in the gym. So, there must be something to this breathing stuff 😉 |
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Hey Reader, It was Saturday afternoon. I'd just finished training my clients and headed upstairs. I walked up the steps quietly. Suddenly, I heard a deep sigh. A sigh's usually a sign that your brain isn't getting enough oxygen. Your body's just trying to force more air in. I walked into the room and saw my mom, Mama Sofia, sitting on a stool. She was completely hunched over her phone. Her shoulders were pinned right up by her ears. Her mouth was open as she took shallow breaths. I knew right away she was worried about something. I didn't even need to know what she was looking at. I walked up to her and said, “Mami, va a estar bien.” That means it's going to be okay. She just looked at me, closed her mouth, and smiled.
The reason I'm sharing this with you is because of what happens inside your body during moments like this. When your physical mechanics break down, your mind starts to spin. Her shallow breathing triggered an immediate stress response. Her brain wasn't getting enough oxygen. Because of that lack of oxygen, her mind was trying to solve imaginary problems she couldn't actually fix… You might be doing the exact same thing when you feel overwhelmed. When you feel rushed or anxious, it almost always stems from a lack of oxygen. Before you try to change your diet or start a new workout, you have to fix your breathing first. If you don't regulate your breath, you'll always default back to stress.
PS: You might be thinking … yeah, I get it. But how do I do it? On Saturday, I'll share with you exactly HOW to do it. |
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Hey Reader, Courtney looked at me as we laid in bed. Jagger was running wild all over our blankets. She softly asked if I wanted to go to Lifetime Fitness with them. I didn't say anything at first… I just sat there and paused. I love to run and swim, and it was Father's Day morning. The old me would've instantly said no. I would've rushed out the door to grind through a solo workout. Instead, I kept quiet and wrestled with Jagger. I heard his loud laugh echo through the room. Then he yelled, “Dada! Dada!” and jumped right off the big bed. I looked up and saw the biggest smile on Courtney's face. When she asked me a second time to come with them, I knew she really wanted me there. In that exact moment, I had to pause and ask myself who I truly wanted to be. I'm a trainer, an author, and an Ironman. But the title I wear most proudly is “Dada.”
I realized my family is what matters most. I chose to go with them, and looking into Jagger's eyes that morning brought me pure bliss. The reason I'm sharing this with you is because today is the 4th of July. It's a day we celebrate America's independence with our families. We barbecue, we hit the pool, and we watch the fireworks. These holidays remind us to intentionally make time for each other. We're constantly getting pulled between competing demands. But today is a perfect reminder to pause and choose connection. Deep down, your intuition already knows what matters most. You just need space to recognize that truth. A simple breath is the key to creating that space. When you lean into a deliberate breath, you hit the pause button on your old habits. And the true you can emerge. Take today to be present and calm. Breathe with purpose, love with meaning, and enjoy this incredible gift we call life.
PS: I'm going to try my best to stay awake for the fireworks tonight. But since I strictly go to bed at 7 pm every night, there's a good chance I'll be fast asleep before the sun even goes down. Send some strong black coffee my way. Happy 4th! |
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Hey Reader, I saw the message pop up on my phone and immediately held my breath. A shock of disbelief and anxiety shot up and down my back. Jagger got kicked out of the Kids Academy at Life Time Fitness for fighting. He's only two years old, but he managed to get a write-up and a ban for the rest of the day. Rats… I completely lost focus on my work. I was at a total loss on how to respond. My immediate response was to check on my wife, Courtney. It sucks when your son comes off as a bully. Because of the ban, I had to completely change my workout plan. I called an audible and worked out at the park. Courtney and I sat down to figure out how to handle this. We frantically looked up how to teach him not to hit. The coaching was rather straightforward. We practiced “Gentle Hands” and made sure to catch him doing things right. We maintained our composure and took deep breaths to model the behavior. We also changed his morning routine so he doesn't go into the kids club on full gas. Now he takes a nice half-mile walk in the morning with Courtney and our golden retriever, Kona. When he finally returned to the kids club, he was a new man. He played nicely with his friends, and his new “Gentle Hands Jagger” persona emerged.
The reason I'm sharing this with you is because of what it taught me about behavior change. When you try to make a positive change in your life, your mind tells you that giant problems need giant solutions. But big problems often require small, simple solutions. The fix is almost always asymmetric. We're officially halfway through 2026. You should be halfway to your fitness, mental, and relationship goals. If you're in the exact same spot you were at the beginning of the year, it's time to change your actions. Start with something simple and repeatable so you can feel like a winner. Losers don't change, but winners change one small action at a time. I want you to think of one specific action you can do today. Take one deep diaphragmatic breath. Carry a water bottle or have an extra drink of water. Go to bed a little bit earlier. Go for a short walk or take a couple of seconds to do a neck stretch. Eat a little bit slower and chew your food one more time. Any of these small actions will push you forward. You got this!
PS: Courtney's joking about featuring this morning's toddler crime spree on the next episode of Forensic Tales. I'll let you know if Jagger makes the cut. |
